greasepig reviews

I don't know why I bother. I saw that Haystack Pizza now has an online ordering form, so I figured I'd try it out. Well, first of all, it saves you no time whatsoever, as you still have to put in your phone number, and then you have to wait for them to call back and they confirm the order. I had to wait ten minutes for the phone call. If I wanted to order the pizza at that time, I would have waited ten minutes and then called. What a waste.

Secondly, I forgot that I am ordering a delivery pizza in San Francisco, which means there is an eighty percent chance that it's crap. Don't get me wrong, most pizza joints here are capable of making good pizza; I would say that most slices in this city are pretty decent. However, the delivered pies are frustratingly inconsistent, and when they're bad, they have the following qualities:

1. They just throw all the ingredients in the middle, without taking twenty seconds to, you know, spread them around so that most bites have ingredients on them.
2. The crust, much of which is laid bare due to the above, is almost inedible. Flavorless, and with a texture like boring bad food.
3. Just not enough sauce. Even if you order extra.

Thing is, sometimes you can get lucky, and they accidentally hire someone with taste. But rest assured, if you try that place again next week, they will have discovered their mistake and fired the poor guy.

(Now, there is one place that I do always like, Panhandle Pizza, by, of course the Panhandle. Which means they don't deliver to me anymore so they're out. Also, if you see the reviews, not everybody likes it. I likes me some cornmeal crust! But this isn't a review of that, so I'll shut up)

Well, as you can see by the picture, I got stuck with a problem pizza. And I'm frustrated.
Rating: 0 Godzillas

I was just shown this awesome site by a friend today. These guys have a comprehensive list of all the taquerias in the city, with ratings of the various burritos. Very impressive - it's like a professional site compared to the silly crap I put out here. Of course the first thing I had to do was see what they gave the highest rating, and it was this place, Taqueria San Francisco, on 24th and York. I had to try it myself to see if these guys know what they're talking about.

The appearance of the establishment is the very epitome of nondescript. I'm sure I've been down this street maybe a dozen times, but I certainly don't remember seeing it. I don't remember what the outside looked like, and the inside had a bunch of Mexican beer posters, you know the ones with the shapely chicas, Univision style. That and your typical bilingual laminated signs, with red and green borders that say "Try our chorizo", or "We have grilled chicken" in English and Spanish.

I had to order a veggie today, because I promised myself to lay off the red meat for a week or two. Now that I've seen that website's reviews, I notice that they value different qualities from what I would. For example, it seems to be the most important to them that the ingredients are well-mixed throughout the burrito. To me, it's important, but pure homogeneity isn't necessary for a good burrito. Oh, but I digress. I got this thing to go, for some reason. I think it's because the interior was too boring to sit in for an entire burrito. So after the twelve-minute pedal-bike ride home, I opened it up. Of course, it was mixed well, and even though it was pretty cold out on the way home, still warm enough through and through. Nothing really exciting, but nothing really detrimental to a good rating either. It would be nice if, for example, they offered black beans (whole pinto only), and maybe a little hotter salsa, but it's ok. I'm willing to give these guys another shot, and it will be on a day when I'm eating red meat. If their carne asada is any good, that could bump this up a half-Godzilla or so.

Rating: 4 Godzillas

Link: http://sanfrancisco.citysearch.com/profile/41740260/san_francisco_ca/le_cafe.html?specialty_id=43

On this day, I knew exactly what I was craving: a Vietnamese-style sandwich. There used to be this place on Howard near 11th back when I worked for the city that had them, but I knew that place hadn't been in business in years. So I just typed "Vietnamese sandwiches San Francisco" on the old idiot machine here, and as it happened I hit the jackpot.

Le Cafe is way out on Clement Street at 31st Avenue, a bit further than the denser-populated business district on this street, and almost to Lincoln Park Golf Course. It has a schoolbus yellow canopy, and two windows with identical Vietnamese signs, one on each street. On the front door, which is at the corner, is a piece of paper with the title "New Saigon Sandwiches" and the hours (7am, I believe to 5pm Tuesday through Sunday). This place is clean and simple. There is one sign describing the sandwiches they sell, and one describing the tapioca drinks. They also have a glass display case filled with donuts, a separate display with Asian snacks, and a display refrigerator with both Western and Asian softdrinks (the kind that come in a can, like sugarcane or grass jelly or guava juice). All their sandwiches are slightly different prices, from about $2.75 to, I think $3.50 tops. They are all real bargains, considering what you get.

I ordered a barbecued chicken sandwich with no cilantro ($3.25) and a lychee tapioca drink ($2.50). The (I can't deny it) super-cute girl suggested I try mango, because she doesn't like lychee, but I insisted. She was very eager to ensure I enjoyed my lunch. So, the sandwich was, in a word, perfect. They definitely took a lot of time in care in preparing it. The meat was tender and perfectly cooked. The pickled vegetables (carrots and daikon) were not too wet and only added to the flavor. Then there was a sauce (like pesto, or something like it) and fresh cucumbers. The bread was nice french bread with a substantial, but not at all chewy crust. It was heaven. The lychee tapioca drink was as I was hoping, just the right amount of sweetness, and the server was relieved that it tasted ok for me. I will definitely be coming here again, perhaps even regularly, as the price, ambience, food quality, and service have not one single fault.

Rating: 5 Godzillas

Link: http://sanfrancisco.citysearch.com/profile/889370/san_francisco_ca/angkor_borei.html

Again it was the case that I didn't know what I wanted to eat. I was kind of leaning towards that "Fortune Cookie" restaurant on Mission, but didn't know for sure. So I took out the pedal bike this time and headed south on Mission. Fortune Cookie was closed, or at least looked closed, but Angkor Borei was open, so I walked in. It was dark, but nice and quiet except for some Cambodian gamelan (I have some CD's - this style of music is pleasant, but kind of boring compared to, say, Balinese gamelan) and there was no one else there (but still, it was about 1:30, so that shouldn't reflect on its popularity). Another party arrived about ten minutes later, though. Quick look at the menu, which had a brightly colored, easy-to-follow lunch page, a really confusing 'regular menu', and a big wine list, which I ignored completely. The lunch special, $6.50, gives you soup, rice, and two of the nine menu selections. Mostly variations on squid, pork, or chicken in a coconut or curry sauce, some appetizers, and a piece of barbecued chicken

I opted for the lunch special with spiced squid, specified "hot", and spring rolls. To drink, I got the lemongrass iced tea. I must say, the waitress was very polite and gracious, like a grandmother offering ice cream to her grandkids. "Here's your soup, enjoy!!!!!" I hope the exclamation marks add enough description, because I can't really think of the words right now.

The soup was your standard Thai-style Tom Ka Gai, only no meat - tofu instead. The lemongrass iced tea (first time I've tried this) was overly sweet, and for some reason reminded me of Froot Loops. The main course was well presented and elegantly served. It was obvious a lot of care went into its presentation. Problem was it was not spicy at all. Not a single pepper's worth. Again there was no chili sauce offered as a condiment. It tasted fine, but still, it was not at all what I was looking for. The spring rolls had a very unique, thick skin that still tasted good. Pretty troublesome, though, was a fishbone(!) inside the spring roll. The specified ingredients were pork and vegetables, so this was definitely a surprise. This kind of broke down the whole feeling I got that they took a lot of time and care making the food that I had gotten prior to finding this.

Overall, although I liked the ambience and the presentation, the food itself (and especially the non-spiciness of it) made me not want to come here again. But I do have a couple of friends who vouched for it, so perhaps it's just the dishes I chose.

Rating: 2 Godzillas

Finding a place randomly like this is one of the many things I love about living in San Francisco. I wasn't sure what I was hungry for, so I just saddled up the V-Star and cruised down Mission Street. Just a couple blocks north of the border with Daly City, this taqueria came into view. Little did I know that in less than an hour, I would have a new favorite burrito place in San Francisco

First of all, this place is really clean. It's got these really attractive wood tables with round brown leather chairs that were more substantial and comfortable than your typical taqueria furniture. The decorations on the walls were truly original and colorful, with your typical ceramic tiles and various shapes of mirrors. Even though there were your typical Mexican beer ads and, strangely, a display of DVDs for sale, the whole place was very tasteful. There was a big HDTV with the USA vs. Egypt soccer game being shown, with the Spanish commentary maybe a tad too loud, but this seemed only to enhance my dining experience. Another thing, I was the only gringo in there for a while, which is always a good sign of authenticity. There were a couple of families in there and and few middle-aged dudes drinking Tecates and just hanging out to watch the game.

Now to the menu: it's gigantic, probably the biggest selection I've ever seen. Not only do they have the weird meats like sesos and lengua that I like, but they also have birria (goat meat) which I absolutely have to try some day. The super pollo asado burrito I ordered was only $4.75. This has to be the cheapest super burrito I've seen in years. But, at that price, the portions must be much smaller, right? Not in the slightest. The characteristic of this place that clinched it for me: they re-grill your meat before inserting it into the burrito. They also grill the tortilla. I usually ask for no cheese, but I figured since I hadn't tried this place before, I'd see how they did the cheese. Perfect amount, evenly distributed without any big chunks (that's the reason I usually don't get cheese on my burrito). All the ingredients were well distributed and the burrito was very well and tightly wrapped. Many other places could learn a thing or two from these guys' technique. (I'm talking to you, Mexico au Parc). Finally, after they wrap it up with foil, they hit the whole thing again with steam! The result is as amazing as it sounds. And the large watermelon agua fresca was really freaking large - I actually couldn't finish it all.

What I shouldn't have finished was the burrito itself. It's simply too big for one person - I really should have eaten half and taken the rest home. But it was just so delicious and I was enjoying the whole experience watching the other people in there and the game, that I chose not to leave. I was way too full and literally ate nothing else the rest of the day.

Now I went at 3:30 in the afternoon and it was almost full then, so I would imagine it's best to go at non-peak times like that. Next time I'm going to try the goat soup - this guy at a table next to me had it and it looked really delicious.

Now, the only reason I'm not giving this five godzillas is that I've only gone here once. I may raise the rating at a later date.

Rating: 4.5 Godzillas

Or is this place called "A nice little place to eat"? I'm not sure, but I do know this: This is another place, like Chef Jia's, that hasn't changed in over five years. It's at the corner of Chenery and Diamond, kitty corner from Tiger's. This place has a chalkboard instead of a dry erase board, and it is most certainly the exact same one that was there when I first visited back in 1997. It even says "New Items:" on it, talking about the Pesto and the Chicken Delight crepes, just as it did back then. I guess I would call this an example of an original crepe place. About 3 or 4 years ago, this city was lousy with crepe places that had chalkboard menus and 89 different kinds of crepes. I'm actually kind of surprised how large a percentage of them have survived after all this time.

Almost every single aspect of this place should be described by the adjective "comfortable": The wooden benches along each of the walls. The tiny tables not quite big enough for your meal and your book and a motorcycle helmet. The carefully chosen, yet not quite loud enough to hear over the din, light jazz. The burlap coffee bags stapled to the ceiling. The art on the walls that changes every week. The Eastern European guy with the goatee and the high voice. The newspapers strewn all over the benches, providing you with at least the sports section if you didn't bring anything to read yourself.

I ordered a Chicken Delight, probably my favorite. It's got chicken, pesto sauce, spinach, cheese, mushrooms, olive oil, spices, and I think some other stuff. Of course there are home fries, too - mostly fluffy and with a couple of crunchy potato skins thrown in for variety. I always do the same thing: put about ten drops of Tobasco on the crepe, and a couple of tablespoons of ketchup for the fries.

When I lived in the neighborhood, I always ordered a cup of coffee, and got one or two refills during the afternoon. But since I'm off coffee now, it was a pot of English Breakfast tea. Although it tasted great, they've still got the same problem with tea that every single other establishment in the Bay Area does: they don't know how to serve and make it convenient. He gave me a coffee cup with a giant strainer on it, and a kettle of loose leaf tea. Whenever I order hot tea, it's either a big *sigh* because of the trouble I'm causing or they just throw a teabag in a cup of hot water. This tea was tasty, but with the containers I was given, it was impossible for me to keep from spilling a few drops of tea, this time on my book. I'm still looking for the perfect cup of tea in the Bay Area. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Well, sorry to complain so much, as that is actually kind of misleading. I've ordered Chicken Delight probably about fifty times, and it has never disappointed. My meal, as always, was excellent, and the ambience is unique and refreshing. I'll be coming back here again and again.
Rating: 4 Godzillas

Link: http://www.sfstation.com/business.php?blId=1440

This was my favorite place for lunch back in the late nineties, when I used to work for Preview Travel over at 747 Front Street. I went back there this day to remember. It did not disappoint.

First of all, it seemed unchanged, except for a fresh coat of orange paint on the walls and some new tables and chairs. The menu was identical to what it was in 1999 - for all I know it could be the exact same dry erase boards. I saw the Asparagus with Chicken on the menu, and even though I knew it wasn't in season, I had to try to order it, just in case there was some kind of weird out-of-season asparagus available. Of course it wasn't, so it ended up being Chicken with String Beans. Just like always, the soup (standard public utility hot and sour, although they have sweet corn in it which seems a little out of place) and drink (a Diet Coke) arrives approximately 20 seconds after I order it. And the meal itself, about 95 seconds. This was great when I came here for lunch during the time when I had a job and temporal limitations meant something. As for this time, however, I was going to take about an hour and a half to enjoy my meal and read the Guardian, so it didn't matter

Oh, what a fantastic pleasure I was reminded of! I had forgotten exactly why I liked this place: lots of ginger and garlic, and perfectly-sized portions. And as always, I choose chopsticks for the first 90% of the meal, because I like smaller bites to enjoy longer, and then because of the rice's consistency, I always had to revert to a fork for the remaining tenth just to be efficient. It was really reassuring to find out this place was exactly as delicious as I remembered it. I know Henry's brought me a little fame and a more substantial menu, but I must say Chef Jia is simply superior.

Rating: 4.5 Godzillas

Link: http://sanfrancisco.citysearch.com/profile/12035742/?specialty_id=28&

This was good because they do well with the portion sizes here. So many places that serve burgers have some bizarre fetish about serving serve four pounds of french fries, half of which are overcooked beyond edibility. These fries, on the other hand, showed evidence of real care taken during preparation. The skin was thin and crispy, and the inside fluffy as a bunny rabbit. The burger, a garden burger with bacon, again wasn't overwhelmed with toppings so much that I couldn't close it without removing a forest of greens. It was tasty, I got the wheat bun. Add to that eating outside, drinking a cold Tecate on a perfect 70F sunny day, and you'll understand why I gave this joint

Rating: 4 Godzillas

This restaurant is in the heart of that restaurant corridor on Mission Street between around Cortland and Cesar Chavez (Army). I've lived near this neighborhood for maybe eight years of my life, and yet there are still many restaurants here I haven't tried. (And a few that have come and gone that I'll never be able to try). So this is my part in trying a lot of them before I take off.

The door to this place is solid wood, and a large percentage of the windows have bamboo shades pulled over them, so it's difficult to see inside here. Also, since I went here for lunch, the interior lights were not turned on, and it was a rainy day (yes - rain in SF in June!), so the inside was dark but had a nice cool atmosphere that I enjoyed. First thing I noticed - there are no condiments on any of the tables, and I see that none of the patrons have asked for additional jars. This tells me that the food is so good that none of it needs to be spiced up at all. That or they don't supply condiments. I would soon find out.

I ordered Pad Khing with Pork, which was just pork with ginger, peppers, mushrooms and tomatoes. First, though, came the soup. It reminded me of soup my grandmother used to make: clear, bland broth with a few heavily cooked vegetables and that little seed-like pasta - looking this up I see it's called either orzo or seme di melone. Needed a little salt, but nothing available, and I wasn't going to ask yet. The main course sat on the plate prettily, although all the colors were kind of de-saturated from the rainy afternoon light. Unfortunately, the flavor was pretty bland as well, and was crying out for some chili sauce. But I didn't get any, because I was too involved in my book, and didn't look up frequently enough to flag the guy done. Oh well, it wouldn't have improved much, only masked it. Bottom line is I'm glad I started trying out restaurants like this, but I won't be going there again.

Rating: 2 Godzillas

Link: http://sanfrancisco.citysearch.com/profile/889364/?specialty_id=35&

I have ridden by this place on my bicycle probably over a thousand times, and yet this is maybe my third visit here. Why such infrequent patronage? I decided to have lunch here to find out.

The place is pretty clean, with those funky leather strap-covered mini chairs just like at Pancho Villa's. And as I just learned, it's owned by the same people. As I walk in, though, two things strike me: 1) there's no sign showing me where to order and pay and stuff. This turned out to be no big deal as a line formed quickly and I was able to follow all those helpful people. It's also a very picky non-issue. 2) The prices - about $1 to $2 higher than any other normal taqueria. There are four levels of burritos: Regular, Especial, and Super, all of them overpriced. The regular starts out over $5 right away. Come on, get real.

I had a Especial Spicy Chicken Burrito. Got black beans (choice of beans: good). I forgot to ask for it without cheese. And a strawberry agua fresca. The burrito was basically too salty, and not enough mixing of the ingredients. Good texture though. A very filling lunch, but it made me wish I had been filled up with something a little more flavorful.

Rating: 2.5 Godzillas